This Is me With the words on the Tip of my tounge [entries|friends|calendar] Anastasia Wilder [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[15 May 2004|11:21pm] [ mood | artistic ] Lately, everyone has been complaining to me. I know I complain alot on here, but it's just so I don't end up complaining to other people. You know what I mean? Yo need something to draw you back from making everyone else hate you, lol. But yeah. I've been "not caring" for a while, and it seems to irrtate some people, and other people give me hugs for it, lol. Other than people complaining, and me not caring, life is alright I guess. I've found myself shhutting up and accepting alot of things lately. I relized heres nothing I can change anymore, so I will wait until theres a chance for me to change myself. I found this band with really cool lyrics, and one that I think people should read is called "Hated because of Great Qualities" secret so sorry that i forgot secret secret we're all bound to forget. i was worried i might be rude to you. so worried that i was. it's a lie to serve the truth and i'm still guilty. i missed. so be it. everywhere everything you ever touched. cutting in won't do it. there's nothing to it. you were sorry that i was alone so sorry that you run away. putting it on me but you already knew it. it never meant a thing. so be it. i can't understand this at all. i can't pronounce this at all. these are different matters these are uncertain feelings they should never be discussed here so keep it to yourself. Some of it is for Mary, but not all of it, cause no song can describe perfectly how you feel about someone or something... Unless you're a redneck. But yeah... I need some new music.. But yeah, Bruce said he's taking me to Godsmack concert this summer. I can't wait ^.^ Man, that would be great... But yeah, thats really all I have to say about today. I'm trying to keep myself occupied so I don't end up thinking about the things I can't change. I'm trying to think about things that make me happy. So much love. [ 2 caught one Catch A star]

[05 May 2004|11:33pm] HOME. I have not even been here an entire week yet. My contentment is running amuck. I cannot express how busy we've been lately. It's almost like we never left... kinda like we are picking up where we left off last year. The huge long days and nights here are incredible. Never a dull moment... just the way I like it. Tuesday night- we arrived. Everyone KNOWS that freakish adventure. PHEWIE. Well at least we are safe. Perhaps not SOUND of mind anymore but SAFE none the less. Wednesday- was basically a family hang out day. Everyone came over. It was awesome. We ordered pizza and talked until we could talk no more. Then we all collapsed in the living room and ended up watching Enterprise. Some things never change. lol. Thursday- We finished unpacking. What a job! At least it's done! Yea! Thursday was a friends night. We spent the night in the game room. Playing pool, darts, ping pong, etc until the wee hours of the morning. It was a great opportunity to unwind... man, I needed that... talk about a trip around the world making ya a tad TENSE. Friday- We drove about an hour and a half away to Juniata. There was a football game going on up there that everyone seemed to want to go to... I was NOT into the whole sports scene. Phil loved it. He was snapping pics left and right. He said he felt Americanized now. LOL! We'll have to take him to a Penn State game (with like 100,000 people there) one of these days if he liked some measly game (with like 2-3 thousand there). Sports... gag. However it was still fun to hang out with everyone. Even with the bands making me deaf... and the screaming fans acting like lunatics. After the game we drove all the way back. We seemed to be all full of adrenaline so we just kept the energy going. I think we played party type board games (like Taboo and Outburst) with everyone until like 3am. Then on the way home we made a detour and went out for breakfast. Therefore, we only got to bed at like 5am! SIGH. I MISSED having a life! :-) Saturday- Well that day started WAY to early for my liking! hehe :) 9am we woke up and went with one of my brothers to his house. I must say... his remodeling job is excellent. I think my favorite part is his new sun room area. I can't wait for it to be entirely finished. It will be quite a sight. At 12noon that day my other bro and his wife showed up. We went golfing for the afternoon. (the weather has been SUPER great lately... in the 80's... oooohh la la). I have to admit I lost the golfing match. BUT it WAS 18 holes of FUN! SO I can't complain. I just need to get back into the SWING of things... literally ;) Saturday night consisted of going out for Chinese, going back to my bro's and hanging for a bit on his PC. Then almost having to be carried to the car due to exhaustion. Sunday- My mom made a massive 'welcome home' lunch. Everyone... yet again... showed up ;) After dinner... well like an hour or so later... my bro, his wife, Phil, and I went for about a 3 mile hike around Memorial Lake. I missed the fall weather SO much in AUS. The leaves this year are just picture perfect. PA has reached about it's mid peak time for Autumn leaves to be in full colorful display... so I still get to enjoy the other half of beautiful scenery... yipppee. Sunday night we just went over to another friends house and watched some videos... until like 2am... but hey... ya only live once!!! :-) Monday- That was yesterday right? Wow.. days seem to blend together lately. Yesterday we went golfing again. The weather was TOO good not to do something outdoorsy. After that we spent about 3 hours shopping at Walmart. ALAS... how I missed the Mart... LOL!!! I got some great stuff. How did I live without my bargains by the bagful for SO long?? hehe :) Last night we watched some more videos... and arranged some more events to do with some folks later this week. That's ONE thing that almost been absolutely hilarious. The phone here has never stopped ringing. Everyone wants a piece of me... in a good way of course. Aaaahhh to feel wanted... oh what a feeling! AND now... today... MY BIRTHDAY. I still need to get through it... but it seems to be turning out into yet another hectic but exuberant day. [ 3 caught one Catch A star]

Its Been A while [21 Apr 2004|03:44pm] [ mood | nerdy ] [ music | My Heart ] woke up early this morning and went jogging. i was jogging halfway and i was already panting like hell. oh my, it has been a long long long time since i last exercised. my body couldnt take it and i had to jog for a distance and walked for a distance. my stamina that's trained from secondary school all gone, i guess, since three to four years ago. im getting old huh. :( jogged (and walked) from my house to ys park and for the return journey, i basically walked all the way home. although it was only a short period of workout, i was sweating all the way. i guess most probably due to the hot weather. it's boring and strange to workout alone. when i was jogging in the park, there're some areas there's basically no one around. so scary. so i tried to jog where it's near to the main road and where there're people. i dont like ys park because it seems so ulu and hilly. it's dead tiring when jogging uphill. out of those neighbourhood hood parks i been to, i like bishan park! it's broad, even ground and there can rent bicycles. hehe... too bad i dont live near there. or else i dont mind go jogging over there everyday. ================================================================= dear #sp, hope you quit your job soon? so that we can go gym workout. hahaha... it's cooler than going to parks you see. ================================================================= i was tidying one of my living room's cupboards and to my astonishment, i found stacks of doraemon comics and some of Archie comics. and not to forget, junks as well. junks like my primary school exercise books and texts. but those doraemon comics dont belong to me. think i got it from one of my cousins. he has tons of it and i remembered that time, he gave me lots and lots of it. but i dont know where i misplaced the rest. what i found is only around 20 over volumes. quite a pity, that i lost some (or most) of the comics. anyway, i tidied up that cupboard and placed doraemon, reader's digest, 'shen diao' comics in. too bad no more space for my cardcaptor sakura. find one day i need to re-tidy again so that sakura can be fitted in. hehe... [ 1 caught one Catch A star]

[14 Mar 2004|09:47pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | My Way- Sex pistols ] What a week. Jury Duty went on till today, I can talk about the case now. Prosecuting Attorney (dep. DA) was a little, young filipino lady, had to have been just out of college... I think. Defense attorney older gentlemen, seemed jaded compared the the prosecutors gung-ho, up and attem kinda mentality. Amazing how obvious their basic character types were, as if I had been reading a book of the proceedings and the author interjected them. :p Case was for possession of crack, and intent to sell. Didnt really know until this morning how to go either way, then we started today with the defense attorney's witnesses, but he didnt have any... he just rested his case soon as the jury sat down pretty much. :/ The defense attorney even at one point in time referred to the defendant by the wrong name. :p (It is very late, sense will be beat into this entry later on) Defense didnt seem to do much. Deliberations, wow, so interesting. We got to debate the littles nuances of it, sort of. Took us a while to all agree, we found him guilty in the end of possession with intent to sell. Felt good and bad either way, good to have done my civic duty and that a criminal is off the streets, bad in that an individual actually went to jail because we wrote down "Guilty" on this particular pad. Really wanted to take a shower after getting off, but went to meet the boys instead. Had a great barbeque over at Nicks, good company, great food, awesome chitchatting going on. Was a perfect way to end the week, and we will end up doing it more often. :) Guards! Guards! Is awesome. :) I am slowly catching up on the entire series, and get to see Captain Vimes brand new. Was also reading part of Peter Davids Apropos of Nothing series. I have more to say but I want to scramble under my sheets now. [ 4 caught one Catch A star]

[13 Mar 2004|11:27pm] Im in such an odd goddamn mood. its because- im EXHAUSTED. eurgh. bad throwt (sp?). bad head. bed neck. bad tummy. yup it is that bad. lol. but ill live. i felt like crying last night. but someone was next to me. so i didnt think itd be right. but he was really nice and sweet because i was feeling so so ill and kept wriggling and sniffing and moaning...and when i caught the odd patches of sleep i snored. how embarresing. poor him. hehe. but hoooorah! such great news today. our art deadline has been moved forward (in time) for two weeks! its so great. and we have almost eight weeks prep. thats amazing. i was only in school to do art today and it turned out i dint really need to. woop. did lots of exercise at gym last night which is really nice and am feeling pretty damn ok at the moment. things are a bit weird between me and some people..and i went through a minor crisis of wondering if i would actually like me if i met me.. does that make sense?.. umm i think so :S but im still unsure. ahh well just done some english which is quite nice. and some art. so maybe things will be ok on the school front eek...we have results tomorrow. i do not think i have passed. in fact if i have i will have only got up to a c at the most. but actually...i have no idea. i can usually tell but i know jack about how its marked. damnation gd night all xx [ 1 caught one Catch A star]

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